every rain flow into drain

He's been quite nice to me lately, I mean since the incident that I ran away from home. Sending me texts saying that he loves me and all. But the thing is, I felt so suffocated with all his acts. Even before that, he checked on me like every hours, what panties I'm wearing, whether I got any bruises or scratch marks on my body, and now it is much more tighter. I can't even take time off to see my parents, and the moment he knew about it, he will ask if we can have fun together. If he knew I went out with my girlfriends he will feel sidelined. As if he only want my life to be all about him and no one else.

My head is so messed up, still I obliged to his needs and wants. I just don't know what else can I do. I know he's trying hard because he can feel that I no longer have the love for him and that's why he's trying to gain that back. There's one night when we were lying on bed, he asked me if I love him, I didn't reply. I couldn't make my mouth utter anything. My heart is dead and confused of what kind of love he's implying to and I just don't know what to say. I felt pity for him, so I said that I do love him, though it was all an emptiness. He would then hugged me from behind and kiss me like there's no tomorrow and he would satisfy my sexual needs the way I always wanted. 

Making sex is the only time that I can be selfish. I do what I want and I dictate how I want it to be. It has always been multiple orgasms that i looked forward to, every time I have sex. There's always a mixture of a hard cold plastic cock and hot blooded cock to satisfy me. After years now, the feeling of orgasms can put me really high. And that's the only pleasure I'm giving myself. I'm such a good fucker! He loves and would go crazy just watching my cum oozing out from my vagina. And my body would shivers with euphoria. Its like in nirvana, really. Oh fuckk! I'm so fucking horny right now! And the one that suppose to make me happy, been bz lately. Well I guess they all are weird but predictable species. And the only thing worth the wait is only the surprise in their pants. Other than that, they are all the same!

I deactivated my fb account today as I see no reason to have one anymore since he no longer find me exciting. I've taken so much of his time, I guess it will do him good when I'm no longer around. I'm a bad apple, I rot everything's around me. He's a nice person and I'm just not.