First of all..lama tak hupdate sebab memang bz gil babs. Sometime I got so many things to write, but ended up writing them in my head when zzzzing off and when morning came, it all dried up macam air liur basi kat atas bantal tu hah! Eauww.
Anyways, lepas Raya aritu I was so tight up with work. Then I had to take leave about a week to go back to hometown di Landen coz my dad need to go through an angiogram procedure. So his house were packed with all my brothers and sisters and their kids. He had 2 stems blocked in heart and need to put some 'ballon' to clear the clot. Ni kira layman nyer term la. So apparently they were severely blocked that the procedure was not successful and need to go for a bypass (open heart surgery) end of this Oct. Hopefully he can make it. Insyaallah.
My mom and dad separated when I was 15. So I've not been living with him for long time but we are close. So it was kinda funny conversation I had with him after he had the operations and before I went back to KL.
Father :
Mahal kan nak buat bypass tu.(with worried tone)
Daughter yg owesome :
Dad, you no need to worry about that. That will be your kids responsibility to take care of that. Let your kids do their part. You also need to play your part to prepare physically, mentally, spiritually and emotionally. Marissa tak setuju langsung if you want to see that person you said can heal secara batin with only RM70 WTF Dad!! There's no such crap. I knew a person who did that but it cost him more than 5K.
Father :
Yela..tapi kita usaha je.
Daughter yang owesome :
Memang la kita kena usaha. Tapi konsep tu dah salah dah Dad! Effort tu have to come within yourself. What is firm is that you have a heart blockage. What you need to do now is to prepare mentally that you're going to undergo that operations. If you keep on thinking about alternatives, means that you don't have the confidence to go through it. So you will not have that positive mind that it will be a success. Lain la if Doc said dah tak de cara lain dah..then we can find other alternatives. You have to stay positive and braver than brave, which I know you have coz I'm your daughter. When you undergo the ops, your lung and heart will stop. The machine will help to circulate the blood to the brain, but in the heart what's remain is your feeling. Feelings do not reside in the brain. So Dad, you have to stay positive so you will power will beat your heart, if not the negative feelings will overcome and it wouldn't turn out good. Pastu Dad, you have to cut smoking and solat. It's been long time you didn't solat. What happpen? Last time sembahyang pon tak tinggal.
Father :
Yes I know, sometimes things get over my head and I gave up.
Daughter yang owesome :
Dad, you can't. Now it's not the time for you to think about others. You need to be selfish and think about yourself. Hal anak-anak, there's nothing much you can do. Let them live their life. Jatuh bangun salah silap, let them go through it, it's part and parcel of life. What you need to do is just pray for them and for you to prepare yourself nanti.
Father :
Yes I know, Dad dah banyak overdraft. Tapi Allah tu maha penyayang dan pengampun
Daughter yang owesome :
Ye Dad but you have to show your effort. Think about yourself and not others.
Father :
Ok nanti Dad solat when I'm well
Daughter yang owesome :
No Dad, you have to do it now. Dad sakit, so when you pray, Insyallah Allah listens more. You even have privilege to pray sitting cause of your leg. Dad, I'm not saying I'm good myself Dad. Not at all. I'm saying it because it's the right thing to do and above all because I love you Dad.
He looks sad but hopeful at same time.
When having that conversation, I felt as if the world just stopped. It was so meaningful to me. He's 70, he's more knowledgeable than me. What kind of advise he has not heard before in his life and what more coming from her daughter. I gave it straight from my heart, I hope it touches him in some way.
Giving him that kinda advise left me more impact as I felt that I was talking to myself instead. It sort of tied me with the commitment to actually accomplish what I've said, else I just felt that I would be lying to myself and a hypocrite.
Ok la..wa need to take call with Brazil, China and US people. It's around 8.30 US time now and the opposite for KL time. That's how technologies make world smaller.
Banyak lagi citer. Nanti if sempat wa sambung lagi. Daaa :)
