ada apa sama cinta

Sometimes I wonder if I ever get to feel decent and romantic fuck again..or whatever do you call it, love making? Where they usually start off with long, wet and hot kisses on the lips, neck and later whole body and the Downunder? And when both bodies become one and ended up both hugging each other and sleep through the night with a smile, no? Hah! Giler jiwang seh..like living in one of those repeated episodes in mills&boon duh!

Anyway..of late, I kinda bored, hate and feel disgusted with all those weird and kinky activities that we had. I just wanna have decent one, but he always wanna drag it to few hours. Tak larat siotss! I feel like a screaming machine sometimes, where you slot in the dildo money, and a scream came out of it. All he wanna do is to shove it in coz I'm a fun to watch. He didn't care how I feel, sakit ke hapa, he just want it his way. And all I can think of, was how suffering it was and to just die ! Eh! tapi tak boleh! Nanti masuk harianmetro or 888 plak! Some catchy headlines to sell - Matidalamkepuasanaksiseksterlampau gitew..

So I breathe, close my eyes and transcend my mind to a place where I can find 'him' - the man that bought me an aspirin when I got migraine, opened the bottle cap for me to drink, kisses that made me float and has one most beautifulcock I've seen so far. A man that belongs to another woman and was looking for something that he can't get with his wife with me. Coz a wife is noble and a responsibility and that a relationship should not be ruined because love of a man and woman was bonded with a vow and yet lust of a man has no boundary (sometimes). A man that wanted to outsource those lust to me yet afraid my acceptance would make me have full control over him. I can but I won't because I want to have at least 1 pure man that appreciates love in my head, even that love is never meant for me. I know by now, man's love is not meant for me (except my blood bonding la). 

So I let him go, let him free his mind of me even there's not a single day passed that I've never thought of him. A man who probably has forgotten of my existence and will never knew how much he means to me. And I don't mind as I have him to save my mind during my sufferings period. His smile and his thoughts saved me many times. Giler mental dowh!! That's all I want to believe right now, because I know deep inside he's still a man, when drilled down, they all have same motives.

So I live in a reality with that imaginary of him, and I'm fine. And I asked myself 'ada apa sama cinta?'

Fuck or fuck off sudahh!!

Ok la..chow! Have a good wet weekend uols. 

Dan saya tujukan khas lagu Buttercup by Brad Shame untuk abang sayang yang jauh di mata, dimana jua abang berada, dengan ucapan kenang daku dalam doa mu. ;)