Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Love fool

Now days I do grumble like an old lady..sungguh tak vogue okay. I mean who wouldn't. It was raining heavily last nite and he wanted to have dinner outside. So I told him it was raining and furthermore I have cooked. So he said, need to pick up laundry. And the best part is, he gave me RM5 to pick up his laundry in that heavy rain. I told him to pick up himself and he said he's just afraid that he would slipped and fall. I was like omaigaddd..romantik giler okay!! Grrr..macam haremm!!! And I did run in that heavy rain and oh at least he gave me an umbrella and RM5. And..that RM5 tak cukup coz he forgot it was 2 batches and so I had to run back again to the car for additional money and that shit was heavy when I carried them into the car, drenched!

And when I was inside the car, he gave me a kain buruk that was under the seat. And I was like tak faham..What for? And he said " Oh! You wipe the door, nanti tingkap jam and pintu rosak" And I was like soaked in water and he can't see that! Romantik giler kann. 

Well anyways, he asked me why did I seldom smile when I'm around him. Mmm..macam malas nak jawab. Well..let me see..You curse me whole day and every day, fuck me like a whore, asked me to lickyourballs and ass (sanitized of course), asked me to pick up your laundry in middle of the rain (well at least he paid for it), asked me to pay for food just because I don't cook (not that I mind, but don't make it sound that bad)..I wonder what kind of smile I can put up. A senget smile perhaps.

A conversation with my girl friends last week, put me to a pause. We went for karaoke and lepaking session at one of the hype places in town. I had such a great time with them. I didn't tell him that I took a day off for that. Not that I wanted to lie, but he'll make a big fuss out of that. Last time I was assumed to have a quickie with one of my bf at MontKiara condo, or that I went for a spin while giving a head on in the car or in some private karaoke toilet room. Well its a denial that eventually became a true lies coz that's what he wanted to hear. 

He said instead wasting my time with my girlfriends I should be spending my time with my kids at home or doing house chores or better if I go out with men and that he could plan agenda for that. I was like fuck la, didn't I deserve sometime on my own, I need a break too. On the way home that day, my friend asked me if I didn't fall in love in any of those men that I've met. She said at least Alisa (my other girlfiriend) who can't leave without a companion is looking for the right love or even Stefi (my other girlfiend) who's materialistic are aiming for a love of rich man even though they are old, have their own purposefulness in their life to make them happy. She said I deserve to be happy and that I seem to have lost it all. 

I told her I almost did fall in love with a man but I backed off because I saw picture of his wife and kids and they are so beautiful. He's a man and I know his need. They are all the same. What's he's looking in me is just something that he can't have with his wife. And I wanna give that to him because I like him so much. But if I do, it will be not just be a fuck and there'll be no way back. He will eventually play with my feelings to just get what he wants and there's no love coz it will always stay with his wife and kids. And I realized that is so true. I should never involve my feelings in any of my skandel gitu..major trap. So there's no longer trust and love for man, coz I have my kids that are my life and my happiness and I content with that.

When you start to think like them, things will not be as cloudy. They are very objective in getting what they want. Details of it are thrill to them. But once they got it..macam haremmm!!! So..the point here is..drag on the thrill babe..and for them to got it..they should be worth it (which is such a rare case). Else..to hell with them. (giler bunyi macam lesbo)

Now's it raining heavily, macam mana nak balik ?

Perhaps it's a perfect time to give a head on while driving - cold and misty, no? 


Found this seeds at mom's house.. just think it's giler lucah tapi coverline baik punye sebab ada ayat rindu kat hujung which I think makes it so profound, aesthetic and authentic gitu..bijak! That keletek are meant to be kelentit or clitoris I suppose. 
So I told mom that now it'll be easier to have multiple orgasm coz I''ll have more "keleteks" to be rubbed on.
Oh yes babeh!

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